After 40 years of crippling insomnia and averaging about 10 hours of sleep a week, a wonderful new doctor has somehow managed to figure out what was wrong and treated it. I now sleep almost the same in one night as I did in one week. Every night.
I can’t begin to tell you what a difference this has made in my life. I have had insomnia since I was a child, and whilst growing up it didn’t seem to bother me, it has become harder and harder to live on so little sleep. At my worst, I went 3 1/2 months without any sleep. Needless to say I became quite ill. I truly thought there was no solution. I don’t have stress induced insomnia, nor anxiety induced insomnia, or even pain induced insomnia. The strongest sleeping pills have no affect at all. I have always described the way I have experienced insomnia to be like billions of wires in my head shooting off electrical impulses ALL NIGHT LONG. I have never had any problem thinking through five or six different ideas simultaneously, again, all night long. I have always hated going to bed and for much of my life put it off for as long as possible. I was often awake as Gary went to work (4.30-5am) and would then drift off shortly after he left to wake as the children rose.
I now sleep from about 11pm until 730am EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. I now think only one thought at a time (much like ‘normal’ people do), I don’t yawn all day long. I don’t feel tired at all. I’d like to say that again if I may. I don’t feel tired at all. I have never not felt tired. This is a completely new feeling for me. I also don’t get headaches anymore. I don’t hate my bed. In fact I was making it one afternoon and actually felt myself longing to be in it for a quick snooze! This from the woman who wouldn’t have gone to bed even if she was ill. I love how I feel now. I love the clarity in my thinking and how easy things are now which I used to find hard due to extreme exhaustion.
However, there is one tiny thing which I miss, and it is the reason I am writing this post. I simply don’t have as much time in my day/night now. Just four short weeks ago I was awake for at least 20 out of 24 hours a day, often more. Now I am lucky if I am awake 16 hours in 24 (Oh my goodness, I actually can’t believe I wrote that!). The result is that I have less time now to blog. This is the reason my blog has been a little quieter of late. And it will continue to be quieter. I’m not willing to give up my sleep (sleep!!! Yipidee-dipidee!!!) for anything. I’m not sure the novelty will ever wear off…..
PS Did I mention I now sleep?